Oh, hey there!

You just clicked a link for what was *supposed* to be a sales page for my copywriting services

But I have some, uh, bad news…

See, with those services I was supposed to completely renovate your copy.

I wanted to show you how I DOUBLED the click through rate on Tom Stoic’s email list…

And QUADRUPLED the opt-ins for Jen Pierce’s landing page.

So I was really excited to write this sales page.

I even paid some guy to make this fancy logo and all:

I got an official domain all set up…
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Priced my services at a nice, affordable, under $5000 price point…
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And sat down to write this sales page.
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But then I realized:

I'm a total IDIOT.

I should have never even attempted this.

Because as EVERY course creator in Instagram knows…

"Copywriters" are THE WORST.

Their writing is TERRIBLE,

They can’t tell the difference between an opt-in and a sales page,

And you’re SICK of them outreaching to you ALL. THE. TIME.

I mean, why else would these “copywriters” receive responses like this?

"I get about 6 of these emails every day"

"This is the second cold DM I've had today"

"I have received NO LESS THAN a dozen 'Quick Question' InMails and connection requests every week."

"Getting around 5-10 cold emails a day, all saying the same thing"

And honestly? I don’t blame you for not trusting a single one of us.

Can’t believe I didn’t realize this sooner.

So…

I guess you totally wasted your time coming to this page.

Really sorry about that.

I don’t even know why I’m still writing.

It would be CRAZY of me to even try selling my services when there are already so many “copywriters” out there driving you insane.

And so…

I will NOT pretend that I can increase your conversions, like when I obviously didn’t do it this time

Or this time. Which I also didn't do.

…wait, what? I am saying I can NOT improve your conversions. N-O-T, ‘not.’

We’re clear right? Because you’re looking at me kind of funny.

Almost like you think I’m actually implying I CAN increase your conversions. Like I did for all of these people.

But I’m not implying that, ok?

And I DEFINITELY am not suggesting you might be shocked by the results.

(These screenshots are clearly fake.)

And so is this one.

HEY. Remember, I’m not saying I might be able to increase your conversions. NOT. Okay? Sheesh. It’s almost like you don’t believe me or something.

Oh, I get it. It’s the pictures

Maybe I had too many pictures. I’ll stop now.

Oops, finger slipped.

So… yeah

I don’t know what THAT was all about.

It must have taken someone like 13 hours to photoshop all those FAKE screenshots.

Clearly you should just go home now.

Even if this page were to go on and try to sell you on these dumb copywriting services,

…why would you knowingly read a page that was trying to SELL you something and take your money?

You wouldn’t. You’re too smart for that.

Okay then. You can close this tab now. Without scrolling down any further, because there would be no point to that. Guess I'll see you later!

...and like I said, no point scrolling! Bye now!

Psst, just letting you know, I think your mouse is broken! It's still doing that scrolling thing!

There's just a bunch of blank space down there. Trust me, don't waste your time.

So... I'm beginning to think you don't believe me about the scrolling thing.

...okay, seriously, what the heck?

You’re still here?

You actually want to read a long form sales page?

Selling you on… copywriting services?

(Haven’t you heard of like, Netflix?)

Alright.

Fine, if you must INSIST on reading a SALES PITCH for my copywriting services… then be my guest.

Proper sales page coming your way in 3…

2…

White space…

Get a Harvard Grad Dropout to Turn Your Struggling Funnel Into a Predictable 6-7 Figure Machine

With absolutely ZERO effort on your end

(and without the $10k+ agency price tag)

...

Ok...

If this sounds too good to be true...

It is...

I lied to you. 😓

I never actually went to Harvard...

The dean of admissions did send me a letter asking me to apply though:

But I declined.

The school I ended up going to was actually higher ranked for my major.

Now what were we talking about again?

Oh right... my offer:

I will write better words than you, your internal talent, or your external vendors have produced to date.

These "words" include emails, sales pages, VSL scripts, and Meta ads.

How can I make such a bolded claim?

Well, look no further than...

Reason #1 To Hire Me:

Jen knew that her copy wasn’t perfect, but it felt ‘good enough.’

And she worried that changing the copy would disrupt her current flow of customers, even if it wasn’t completely optimal at the time.

After all, she built her success on being an expert in her field... NOT on being an expert in marketing.

So while she KNEW her current funnel wasn’t perfect, she:

• Didn’t trust her ability to write better copy

• Had been burned by “quick question” copywriters before

• Felt overwhelmed by the process of rewriting/updating

Jen’s landing page was converting at just 6% when we started working together.

What she didn’t realize was that it was capable of converting at 26%... more than FOUR TIMES her original rate.

I completely re-did the website headlines, design, CTAs, pretty much everything.

In Jen's case, the cost of her 'good enough' copy was 77% of potential leads.

Looking at the numbers, that's 711 perfect-fit subscribers who never joined her list.

711 potential customers who went elsewhere.

Here's what she had to say after she saw the transformation:

Click the button below to make sure a potential lead never slips through your fingers again:

...

Hmm...

Still not convinced?

That's okay. I've plenty more in my copywriting bad o' tricks.

Onward to Reason #2, then...

I helped Tom Beenham make $83,939 a SH*T ton of money for the month of December.

At the time I worked for an agency that took him on as a client.

Before I started working on his email list, his average click through rate (CTR) was 2.09%.

When I rebuilt his nurture sequence and started writing his regular emails, the average CTR increased to 5.24%.

This added a consistent $2,000 to his monthly revenue.

But sometimes it was larger, like when his email list helped him hit $84,000 in December 2024 alone:

Here's what Tom said about me:

In his case, the cost of 'good enough' copy was about $24,000 per year and probably about $20k for December.

So in total that'd be give or take $44,000.

Click the button below to stop your 'good enough' copy from potentially losing you tens of thousands of dollars:

...

Still skeptical, huh?

cracks knuckles

Time to bring out the big guns...

First let me give you some hints:

In 2023 he was ranked the 18th most popular copywriter in the world by copywriting.org.

He's sold 8 figures worth of online products.

He is one of the best if not the best copywriter in his entire country.

And his name is...

🥁

🥁

🥁

🥁

🥁

🥁

Armash Kamal!

Look him up... he has over 50 thousand followers on YouTube.

Every piece of copy I write is ran through this guy first.

Which means you're essentially getting his expertise at my cost.

How cool is that?!

You are indirectly getting an 8 figure copywriter to work on your business simply as a BONUS when you hire me.

Though I will admit he is pretty expensive.

And things are already going pretty well in my business so I'm not sure how long I'll need his direct mentorship.

If you want your marketing to be reviewed and perfected by Armash Kamal while we work together, then I would book a call sooner rather than later.

"How much do you charge?"

Here’s where I’m going to dazzle you with my amazing copywriting skills.

For the right person, I think my services could be worth $9,999,999,999.

But not YOU, pal. No way you’re going to pay $9,999,999,999.

Heck… you’re not even going to pay $9,999!

(Wait, am I doing this price ladder thing right? 🤔)

Uh…

Yeah… you’re not going to pay anywhere near that.

But I honestly can’t give you a set price until we have a chat first.

It all depends on where YOU’RE at as a biz owner and what solutions I can provide.

There is no one size fits all.

HOWEVER…

Jobs typically range from $400 (project) to $3000/mo (retainer), so keep that in mind.

“Are there refunds?”

Just like you wouldn’t ask a chef to “un-cook” your meal, I don’t offer refunds for completed work.

But here’s what I do offer:

• Unlimited revisions until you’re completely satisfied (for projects)

• A risk-free trial period for retainer services

• Clear milestones and approval stages throughout our work together.

You’re here because you’ve read this entire sales page and connected with my writing style.

You know exactly what you’re getting.

I deliver what I promise, and I don’t stop until you’re thrilled with the results.

“What’s your typical turnaround time?”

Okay, look… I know I said I was going to answer your questions. And I really meant to!

But then I realized – that’s what discovery calls are for, right? 😏

Lets chat about the rest 👇

"But wait! WAIT! Can I ask one more thing?

Fine.

One more question. And that's IT.

“I’m about to do that thing where I read all the way to the bottom of the sales page but I still have lingering doubts so I’m going to just flick back up the page and start randomly re-reading parts that I already read while I umm and ahh about whether I want to book a call until my phone pings and distracts me.”

Um… okay, that wasn’t really a question.

But, that’s cool. You do you.

All I’ll say in closing is… when you click that button you're not taking out your wallet and paying me 5 grand.

You're simply booking a call.

It’s a non-committal decision... and one that could completely transform your business too.

Let’s do some quick math:

• Time investment: 15 minutes

• ​Potential downside: You lose 0.15% of your week

• Potential upside: You flood your business with leads and additional revenue.

The way I see it, you have two options:

A) Close this tab, go back to writing your own copy (or worse, hiring another “quick question” copywriter 🤮), and keep getting the same results.

OR

B) Take 30 seconds to book a call for someone who just kept you engaged through an entire sales page while simultaneously demonstrating exactly how they’ll help your business grow.

Anyway, that’s my pitch.

Ball’s in your court now.

Oh my, and would you look at that?

There just happens to be an button to book a call right here! What luck!

I QUADRUPLED the opt-in conversions for Jen Pierce.

Reason #2 To Hire Me:

Reason #3 To Hire Me:

My mentor's name is...

Alright Q and A time.